I’ve written a lot about fear lately – how it’s the root of a lot of the issues I’m grappling with, how I want to overcome it, how He is helping me recognize it and act in spite of it. Up until this point I’ve let Caution chart my course and have the final say in most of the decisions I make. I’ve let him rule my life because he is safe and will not allow me to take risks. If I never put myself out there, I’ll never experience failure or rejection, and although my life has been pretty boring it’s been safe because Caution’s system has worked for me. But I have finally begun to internalize the fact that in shielding me from certain things, he has been keeping me from others, not allowing me to reach my full potential, affording me no opportunities to learn, grow, and experience new things.
Just yesterday I wrote about putting safety first and posed questions about the safety of God’s will, of following Him into the great unknown:
Are God’s plans safe? And by that I mean do they provide a sense of comfort or security and emotional well-being? On a certain level they do as there is great relief in knowing that we are in His hands, being led by the omnipotent, omniscient, omnipresent One. But on another level, I’ve come to find God’s plans for me are different than what I expected, in no way involve safety or caution, and are sometimes difficult. They require me to expose my fears, personally invest myself in others, risk failure, do things that scare me to death like admit my faults and tell a painful story. They require action, and with that comes greater potential danger. Injury doesn’t come in sitting still, but in movement, in making contact with others, in navigating uncharted courses.
It’s dangerous to venture into deeper waters. I can’t touch the bottom, there are strong currents, and I’m not a strong swimmer. Yet that’s the place He keeps calling me to. He’s there and He wants me to meet Him, swim with Him in tides He controls, tides that frighten me. Caution would say to stay in the shallows, take no risks, and be content with what I have. But He begs me to come, to start swimming, to move. He wants me to dive deep, to plunge underneath insecurity, doubt, and fear. And now I must make a choice: sink or swim, trust Him or listen to Caution, chase a dream or drown in fear. I’m going to swim, what about you?
Those are my words, I’m going to swim. And now it’s time for me to actually do it. You see, I’ve been presented with an opportunity – a chance to venture deeper, to go after my dream. You can find out about it here.
And whether I’m chosen or not, whether I’m the one who will see new opportunity or be presented with another not this time, I will rejoice. For in the simple act of trying, I have silenced Caution’s voice for the first time ever.