Prepared in Advance

For we are His creation, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared ahead of time so that we should walk in them. Ephesians 2:10 (HCSB)

I got fired one year ago this coming Friday. It’s hard for me to wrap my brain around that. Some days I still look back in wonder, thinking about things that should have been different, staggering from the trauma, and then other days I think of it almost fondly, feeling as though they did me a huge favor. Though painful and difficult, God used that situation to teach me many lessons.

God doesn’t make bad things happen to us, but He does allow them. Everything that has ever happened in my life, good or bad, is part of the plan. Every failure is part of the plan. Every day-late-and-dollar-short moment, every victory, every loss, every growth spurt, every season of abundance – He knew about it all from the beginning of time. He factored in the difficult as well as the good when solving the equation of my life.

Just like everyone else in the world, I’ve experienced bad things. Mental illness, bankruptcy, miscarriage, death of a parent – I could go on and on. Just as God prepared all the good plans, the prospering, the hope, the future plans; He prepared the dark moments, the places so dry and desolate they would drop me flat on my face. He has never been surprised or caught off guard. He has not changed His mind or chosen another, better suited candidate for the position He wants me to fill. Why? Because He knows what He’s placed inside me, He knows my thoughts, my intent, my heart. He knows my weaknesses and strengths, and He prepared in advance each phase of my life. He knows the pathway to my destination.

The journey is just as important as the destination because it prepares us for the destination. Each point in the journey is designed to prepare us for the next. We cannot be effective if we aren’t prepared, and more often than not, preparation comes through difficult experience. When I look back over my life, I find that the most growth and maturity has occurred during hard times. Maybe that’s because I’m stubborn, or maybe it’s because when times are tough, I tend to stay closer to Him, searching His word, seeking His face, trusting His heart, learning to let go and remembering it is all prepared in advance.

A few weeks ago, a big college rivalry game we wanted to watch was on, but because of our schedules we had to record it and watch it later. My husband avoided all social media in order to watch the game with no knowledge of the outcome. I, on the other hand, couldn’t not know, so I found out the final score before we watched it. He watched nervously through each play, experiencing all the emotional highs and lows, and getting all worked up when things weren’t going well for our team. I remained calm and had no emotional reaction to bad calls or poorly executed drives. Why? I already knew the outcome. We won. I didn’t get upset when parts of the game didn’t go the way I would have liked, and I wasn’t  nervous and anxious, wondering how it would all work out in the end. It was easy for me to watch without becoming emotionally distressed because I knew no matter how bad it looked at times, in the end, we were victorious.

Isn’t it the same in our spiritual lives? We know the end – we win, so why do we sweat the small stuff? Why do we get so emotional and nervous and start freaking out when things don’t go as planned? We only see parts, but He sees the whole. He’s prepared it all, and He is leading us to victory.

The Choice of Expectancy

Waiting is almost always difficult. Whether it’s in line at the grocery store, at a traffic light when we’re in a hurry, or during a painful stage of our personal lives, delay can make us feel as though movement or fresh purpose will never come. Its stagnant emptiness stifling, its shallow pool a breeding ground for doubt, confusion, and depression; deferment seems to drain life and faith. But there is a way to combat the effects of those in-between times, the great holding places of life: hope.

Expecting is waiting with anticipation – the confidence of hope. The prospect of better, the belief good things lay ahead, the understanding that this, too, shall pass enables us to embrace seasons of pause and appreciate their value as periods of growth and preparation for what is to come. Waiting requires no action or personal investment. Expecting however, is active, fully engaging faith. Expectation demands maturity.

Pregnant women are called expectant mothers for a reason. A mother-to-be doesn’t sit idly waiting for nine months to pass, wondering what to do in her time of transition. Instead, she prepares for the next phase by nurturing and growing the promise within. She creates a space for the baby and diligently engages in activities that will make her physically, mentally, and emotionally ready for the next season of life.

Just like expectant mothers we, too can prepare for the future during times of shift. Three activities in particular are helpful: prioritizing, exploring, and focusing. First, take the time to examine your priorities and inventory the things most important in your life. This will allow for repositioning of goals and relationships, and will shine a spotlight on areas previously neglected. Also, use this stage to de-clutter, getting rid of physical, mental, or emotional baggage. Having a freshly organized mindset can help one appreciate the bigger picture instead of concentrating only on the current situation.

Second, explore your options. Be creative. Expand your possibilities by trying something new. You may have an undiscovered talent or interest that could create new opportunity. Additionally, attempting something different can afford chances for meeting new people, networking, and establishing potential contacts for the future, while at the same time relieving stress and providing self-fulfillment.

Finally, focus on the positive. Remember to be thankful for your blessings, and to think and speak optimistically. Negativity and worry only bring more stress, making the circumstances worse and creating an environment of despair. Keep things in perspective and remember though disappointing, your season of wait is temporary and can be used to your advantage.

And so then, it is a choice we must make: wait or expect, do nothing or prepare, wallow in questions or find answers in fresh opportunity. Although we cannot control life and the stages it brings, we can control how we react. We can decide to expect the good things promised – the prosperity, the hope, the future (Jer. 29:11), or we can choose to stall, getting caught up in the why instead of asking what next. By changing perspective and transforming waiting times into seasons of expectation, we can better prepare ourselves for the good things God has in store.

Quitting

I’ve questioned everything I’ve known to be true about myself and my God. I’ve heavily considered leaving the ministry I’ve been involved in for years, and truthfully, I’ve even considered taking a break from church for a while. I’m tired. I’ve yanked the cord, yelled at the conductor and begged him to stop or at least slow down a little, but to no avail. The train just keeps chugging, where it’s going I’m not really sure, and when or why I got on in the first place is a fuzzy memory. I’ve followed the rules the best I know how for a long time. I’ve been committed, gone above and beyond the call of duty, and worked hard because well, that’s just what I’m supposed to do. God expects it, others expect it, so just do it.

Sitting, staring, waiting, I think, “This is it? This is what it gets you? I must be doing something wrong. There must be something I missed, some crucial part of the equation I’ve left off for the past 30 years. I think it’s time to let go. Who would really notice or care anyway?”

Then, on Sunday night, in the middle of an encouraging sermon about not giving up, He helps me see clearly. I’m focused on the wrong thing – me. I’m reminded of Joseph and Job. Neither of them did anything wrong, yet they suffered immensely. They could have cursed God. They could have let go. They could have given up on Hope. They could have missed the reward. Each of these men was pushed to his physical, spiritual, and emotional limits. They did what was expected, followed the rules, and where did they land? Hell’s front door.

Both men eventually recovered all, plus some, but that eventually was a long road. It was a process, a journey. The reward came, but they never would have received it if they had given up somewhere along the way. God kept them through each part of the process, giving what was needed for each step of the way. The journey was long and tiring, but the reward was great.

Fact: Quitters never win and winners never quit. It’s impossible to win a race you don’t finish. The people who win the race are just as tired as the ones who quit. The only difference between the quitter and the winner is the stopping point – quitters stop early and winners run it out. Quitters are tired and have nothing to show for their hard work. Winners are tired but they gain a prize.

It’s hard work, it’s tiring, it’s a long journey, but God has it mapped out. He knows the end of the story, but if we don’t let Him lead us there, we’ll never find the good things He has in store. I’ve come too far to give up. I’ve worked too hard for too long to allow life’s troubles or what people think or say or do to keep me from my finish line. I will not quit. Will you?

Packing Extra

Wednesday: “M didn’t have a lunch today, Mama. She said her dad told her not to get a tray at school because he’s not going to pay the bill. She said she forgot to make it. I gave her my candy bar and she hugged me and told me thank you.”

Thursday: “M didn’t have a lunch again today. I guess she forgot again. I feel bad since she can’t get a tray.”  “Is this the same girl who didn’t have lunch last week?” I ask. “No, Mama, that’s N. She has lunch this week, so I guess they were able to go to the store.”  “I guess I should start packing extra for M – I feel bad for her.”

“Does anyone know she doesn’t have a lunch, like a teacher or someone else?” I ask, thinking maybe someone at school should know and perhaps try to find out what’s going on. But it really doesn’t matter if they know. What matters is that I know. There are children at my daughters’ lunch table who sometimes don’t have food to eat. Is it possible they have dead beat parents? Yes. Is there a chance they don’t know about the free and reduced lunch program? Yes. Could the kids sometimes just forget to make their lunches? Yes. Can these families not afford food? Possibly. Are these children taking care of themselves with little parental involvement? Could be.

I don’t need to know why they don’t have lunches –it really doesn’t matter, and it’s not my place to judge. The point is I know there are children at the table who walk away hungry. I have to decide what I’m going to do with that knowledge. Let a kid go hungry or fill their need?

I might not be able to feed a whole community, but I can help at least one or two. My grocery budget may already be stretched to its limit, but God can make it go further. I may not know these kids, but God knows each of them by name and He cares about them. He cares about their lunches.

We’re going to start packing extra every day. We’re going to be ready just in case. We’re going to be the ones people know to go to if they don’t have quite enough. With God’s help, we’re going to feed the need.

What about you? Is there an area in your life where you could pack a little extra for someone else, just in case? God can use you if you let Him. Pack an extra smile, or an extra encouraging word, or another apple – you never know whose life He’ll change.

When God Asks Questions

God doesn’t ask us questions because He needs the answer; He asks us questions because we need the answer. He already knows where we are, what we’re doing, how we feel, why we’re running, who our accusers are, who we think He is. He wants us to say it – out loud. He wants us to acknowledge the place we’re in, the people we are, the things we don’t believe, the things we’ve done.

God asks questions before He does amazing things. Where are you, Adam? I’m hiding because I’m naked and scared and I know I’ve done wrong. What have you done, Eve? I listened to the serpent and disobeyed Your command. Yes, God punished them because they disobeyed. The amazing part – He still loved them – still loves us – so much so that He sent His only son to make it possible for us to walk with Him again.

Where’s your brother, Cain? I don’t know – am I my brother’s keeper? Okay, I was jealous of his sacrifice and Your response to him. He’s better than me – willing to give up more. Yes, God punished him, but He didn’t allow anyone to harm him. Cain had a second chance – amazing grace – God’s hand of protection in spite of what he’d done.

Why did Sarah laugh, Abraham, is there anything too hard for Me? She lied at first and said she didn’t laugh, but God heard her – He knew she thought it was impossible for her to become a mother at such an old age. The amazing part? Even though she was crusty old, God was gracious to her and gave her a son whose name meant Laughter. Her first laugh was in disbelief, her second in the joy of a long-awaited promise fulfilled.

What’s your name? It’s Jacob –I’m a heel-grabber, I want to be first, I trick and deceive to get what I want. Who are you? I’m changing your name to Israel because you have struggled with God and man and overcome. This is amazing how? He wrestled with God and lived to tell about it, and his name, person, character, life, destiny was changed that day. From then on he walked with the touch of God and through his lineage our salvation came.

What are you doing here, Elijah? I’m running scared. They’ve killed all the other prophets – I’m the only one left. They’re trying to kill me, too. Go back the way you came and do what I say. Amazingness? Nobody killed Elijah – God kept him, performed amazing miracles through him, and spoke through him.

Where are your accusers, Woman? Look around, everyone’s gone except Me, and I don’t condemn you. Get up, go, and sin no more. Jesus changed her life that day and freed her from herself, her sin, and the accusations and judgments of other people. When she stood up she was totally free. She felt true love, acceptance, and forgiveness for probably the first time in her whole life – what’s more amazing than that?

Who do you say that I am, Peter? I know what other people say and think, I want you to tell Me who you know Me to be in your life. I want you to say it. You are the Christ, the Messiah, God with us, the anointed one, our deliverer. Peter carried that with him. Yes, he denied Christ, but he had a huge comeback. I think part of it had to do with this day – he remembered his encounter, the words that he spoke, his own belief that Jesus is the Christ, and he fully accepted all that meant. He let it cover his faults, his past mistakes, his big mouth, and he got up and moved on, choosing not to stay in failure, but choosing to proclaim the Christ he knew. Amazing.

When we honestly answer God, we release what we know to be true about ourselves into His hands. We open ourselves to Him through the spoken word, and when we are open – truthfully revealing our hurts, faults, questions, fears –He comes in. Jesus is change. Jesus is power. Jesus is truth and life. You cannot walk away unchanged after a true encounter with Him – it’s impossible.

Three Cupcakes

Three

In a row

Hardly a breath in between

Yummy fluffiness feels the brunt of my frustration. I’m tired of praying – maybe Jesus stopped listening a long time ago. I want to stop doing and just be, but that means I have to sit with myself in the quiet still and I just can’t – I don’t like me enough to be alone with her. I’ve waited and trusted and cried and prayed for days, weeks, months – nothing. Cupcake #1. I’m so tired of being in this place, dealing with these same problems, wondering how and when it will work out. Cupcake #2. I feel like I’m losing my grip – on faith, on hope, on reality. Cupcake #3.

I know three cupcakes can’t fill my void; yes, I’ve read Made to Crave.  But somehow, eating three cupcakes seems better than punching someone in the face three times, or calling three people to gossip, or drinking three fuzzy navels, or buying three new outfits that I don’t need, or cussing three people out, or taking three extra pills. But really, it’s the same. Because

Three

In a row

Hardly a breath in between

Can’t fix my problems – only He can do that.

Even though it’s hard and the answers haven’t come, I can’t give up. I can’t let cupcakes muffle my hearing. I have to sit alone, quiet, still. Because

Then a great and powerful wind tore the mountains apart and shattered the rocks before the Lord, but the Lord was not in the wind. After the wind there was an earthquake, but the Lord was not in the earthquake. After the earthquake came a fire, but the Lord was not in the fire. And after the fire came a gentle whisper (1Kings 19: 11b-12, NIV).

Help My Unbelief

Everything’s gone from bad to worse –
Please, help my unbelief.

I keep wondering what I’ve done wrong –
Please, help my unbelief.

Your Word and my circumstance say two different things –
Please, help my unbelief.

What I feel You want me to do and what I think I need to do are not the same –
Please, help my unbelief.

My lack yells out while Your voice is small –
Please, help my unbelief.

I want to give up, move on, quit serving-
Please, help my unbelief.

I know You have a plan, I know it will work out, I know I can’t give up, so please tell my mind what the heart already knows, and please, help my unbelief.

A Lunch can Change a Life

They hate this time of day. It’s generally filled with griping, a little “I’m telling!” and a lot of “Move over!” Today is different though – there’s no arguing, just the sound of a low, muffled conversation. Then, out of nowhere, a sister appears in my doorway. “Mama, I need to ask you something.” I’m expecting something along the lines of “Will you get down the sandwich bags?” or “Can I take an extra drink?” But what she said next truly surprised me.

“There’s this girl at my lunch table. She only brings a sandwich and a Capri Sun in her lunch every day. She says that’s all she has at home. Me and Sissy have shared with her the past couple of days, but we were wondering – can we just start packing extra in our lunches and give it to her? I think she’s hungry.” “Sure,” I say as my eyes pool around the edges. “I think that’s a great idea.” While she excitedly runs back to the kitchen to tell her twin the great news, I whisper a prayer. I thank God for the wonderful children I have, for their hearts of compassion, for their willingness to help, but I also pray for the girl who doesn’t have enough lunch.

I wonder if she gets to eat breakfast and supper, if she has siblings who are hungry, too, and what her family situation is like. I wonder what else she may not have, and if she’ll be okay when winter gets here. Except for God’s grace, that could be my family.

These lunches – my girls – could change her life. Just like He did so long ago, Jesus could take that lunch and multiply it exponentially. He can make it feed her body and her soul. He can take simple snacks and turn them into nourishment for her life. I pray He will. I pray He’ll help me, too. I want to be like my daughters. I want to notice the hungry around me, and not just see them, but help them. I want to be the one who brings a little extra so I can share with whoever may not have quite enough. I want my lunch to help change a life.nd, for everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle. ~ Philo

Too often we underestimate the power of a touch, a smile, a kind word, a listening ear, an honest compliment, or the smallest act of caring, all of which have the potential to turn a life around.  ~Leo Buscaglia

Matthew 25: 34-40 (NIV) – Then the King will say to those on his right, ‘Come, you who are blessed by my Father; take your inheritance, the kingdom prepared for you since the creation of the world. For I was hungry and you gave me something to eat, I was thirsty and you gave me something to drink, I was a stranger and you invited me in, I needed clothes and you clothed me, I was sick and you looked after me, I was in prison and you came to visit me.’ Then the righteous will answer him, ‘Lord, when did we see you hungry and feed you, or thirsty and give you something to drink? When did we see you a stranger and invite you in, or needing clothes and clothe you? When did we see you sick or in prison and go to visit you?’ The King will reply, ‘Truly I tell you, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers and sisters of mine, you did for me.’

Treads of Truth

“It’s going to cost $745.35, but that includes putting them on and balancing, too. They’re good tires – not cheaper ones like we have now, so really, it’s a good deal.” A good deal? The sound of that number doesn’t feel like a good deal – it feels like disappointment. Once again my calculations are thrown out the window – once more my plans have fallen through. We’re never going to get things paid off with all of these unexpected expenses popping up. The orthodontist appointment is Thursday, too, God only knows how much that’s gonna cost. They’ve already told us all three of them will need braces.

As my thoughts become obsessive, spinning hot and doing doughnuts all over my brain, He stops me hard in my tracks. Gently and quietly, He treads over my thoughts with His truth: Those tires you’re griping about, the ones with metal exposed, the ones your husband noticed by “accident,” the ones you hate because you have to replace them and forego the anniversary plans you’ve saved for, the ones that look like a financial setback – those are the tires I kept from blowing out, the ones I made last this long, the ones I’ve allowed you to travel safely on while you had no idea they were breaking down with each rotation. You could be paying for a funeral. You could be mourning the loss of your husband or children or both because of those tires. You could be in the hospital, medical bills piling high.

It’s true. He has kept us, and only He knows for how long. I’m looking at the price tag and not the cost. God is good. He is faithful. He protects and provides. Yes, $745 is a lot for my family right now, and no, I don’t particularly want to spend it on tires, but when I look at the bigger picture and see the furrows grooved deep by His hands, the lines He’s drawn in the sand, the hedge He’s built around us, I can’t help but realize that I’m focusing on the wrong thing.

I can’t plan life; I can never come up with enough contingencies to cover the unexpected. I have to focus on what I know: God knows, He sees, and He cares. He is my source, and if He has kept me this far, I’m pretty sure He’s got me covered the rest of the way. He’s already driven down every road, planned every path, and negotiated every turn. How can I not trust Him?

Plug In

It’s a beautiful fall morning. The sun shines bright, the breeze blows gently, azure skies are unclouded, and the temperature is perfect. I go back to bed. It’s easier to hide, to crawl back into dark warm than it is to let the bright light expose fresh my truth. I don’t want to face the day, life, my problems, my friends’ problems, my inadequacies, my lack. They’re there whether I get up or not, but if I don’t move from this place I won’t have to look at them. There’s no reflection without Light.

The words flood my head, drowning me in fact – the ones I heard yesterday at His house: God is your source. He’s already decided how and through whom your help will come. God is not limited to our resources or connections. Your vacancy is God’s opportunity. Only one person stands between you and your needs being meet – Jesus – and He’s ever interceding on your behalf. God doesn’t fragment or compartmentalize your life. He wants to take care of everything, not just some parts. No need should bully or intimidate you. If Jesus is first in your life then you have a direct connection to His power and resources. God controls all sources of supply. If one dries up, He can pull from another. Your need will never exceed His abundance in glory. He supplies your needs according to His riches in glory, not with them. His supply is never exhausted. He exchanges His wealth into the currency of your need. His finger points and His hand provides – they aren’t separate from each other. If you have followed His pointing – His direction – you must know the rest of His hand is also there, outstretched, full of supply.

Today I must choose, as must we all, to plug in or stay disconnected. If I remain in my place, afraid to move, afraid to believe, I am choosing to refuse His supply. But if I choose to plug in, connect to the Source, it will be impossible for me not to receive power. When I plug in it automatically flows, and nothing can stop His current.